i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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