i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
