apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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