i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
