Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
