So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
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She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
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he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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