It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
