I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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