Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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