Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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