look no pants
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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