I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
