I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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