I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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