why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
