Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
