I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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