So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize