Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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