oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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