First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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