i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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