Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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