The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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