Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
