He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i barfeds in our rink
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
