I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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