in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
