i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
