i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
