are you still at the devil's house?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
