Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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