i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
