It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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