is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
