just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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