Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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