Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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