Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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