Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
