The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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