Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
