Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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