So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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