You can't special order awesome
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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