You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Can I color on your dick again?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
