I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She needs sedatives and a leash
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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