he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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