Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
It's Friday. Sex?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
