I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
