Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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