Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
