After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Randomize