Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize