I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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