I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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