But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
