Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
